CaptainRallie (4:12:46 PM): i've been trying to get ahold of you, but i guess you just don't want to talk to me...anyway...if you feel like talking to me...you know where to find me
linnea036 (4:12:55 PM): I'm at class... *sighs*be back soon ^_~
linnea036 (4:13:04 PM): umm
linnea036 (4:13:10 PM): sorry bout the away
linnea036 (4:13:21 PM): and I kinda left my phone in my other purse... at home
CaptainRallie (4:13:26 PM): ah
CaptainRallie (4:13:31 PM): well that makes me feel less hated...
CaptainRallie (4:13:38 PM): jeff was kind of bashing me last night
linnea036 (4:13:51 PM): define "bashing"
CaptainRallie (4:14:21 PM): telling me that i was wrong, and i need to "get myself under control", you're disappointed in me, and i'm really not being constructive with myself.
CaptainRallie (4:14:43 PM): in all honesty, it sounded more like chris than jeff
linnea036 (4:15:01 PM): *sigh*
linnea036 (4:15:24 PM): he wasn't trying to be mean about it
CaptainRallie (4:15:31 PM): yeah well he was
CaptainRallie (4:15:50 PM): and in general, i'd rather hear that you're disappointed from you, rather than being told by your boyfriend
linnea036 (4:16:19 PM): well... in all honesty, I'd rather not have a conversation like that on AIM
CaptainRallie (4:16:32 PM): well you don't exactly have a phone
linnea036 (4:16:47 PM): yea... that's my point
linnea036 (4:16:51 PM): look...
linnea036 (4:17:02 PM): I'm sorry if what he said upset u
CaptainRallie (4:17:31 PM): i don't care if you're sorry about it
CaptainRallie (4:18:04 PM): i would ask for an appology from him, but i know i'll never get one
linnea036 (4:18:24 PM): wut is THAT supposed to mean?
linnea036 (4:18:34 PM): no... don't even bother answering
CaptainRallie (4:18:41 PM): because he thinks he's right about it, so why should he appologize for enlightening me?
linnea036 (4:19:39 PM): i'm sitting here thinking of a way to explain all of this without upsetting u more...
linnea036 (4:19:43 PM): but that's impossible
CaptainRallie (4:20:00 PM): well tough
CaptainRallie (4:20:13 PM): if you leave it how it is, i'm gonna end up feeling worse in the long run
CaptainRallie (4:20:33 PM): you don't have to agree with what i do, but i'd appreciate it if my friends could support me anyway
CaptainRallie (4:20:43 PM): and support that i can make my own choices
linnea036 (4:21:28 PM): I don't know if I can fully support some of your choices... but that's only because some of these choices are harmful to U...
linnea036 (4:21:42 PM): I kno how it sounds... but I'm just concerned
linnea036 (4:21:57 PM): I don't want to try and tell u to be a certain way
CaptainRallie (4:22:08 PM): so instead you get your boyfriend to?
linnea036 (4:22:22 PM): i didn't ask him to do anything, OKAY??
linnea036 (4:23:08 PM): he said what he said out of a similar concern, and I KNOW that he isn't exactly good at expressing himself like that... and most of the time he ends up sounding insulting or something
linnea036 (4:23:28 PM): but he's not trying to be that way... really he's not
linnea036 (4:24:58 PM): i mean, in all truthfullness, I kno we don't have any right to criticize, because we couldn't possibly understand...
CaptainRallie (4:25:13 PM): i know that you don't agree
CaptainRallie (4:25:39 PM): but the decision has in no way hurt me
CaptainRallie (4:26:08 PM): we used a condom, and i don't plan on letting things get so escalated again soon
linnea036 (4:26:45 PM): okay... and the fact that u used a condom doesn't exactly put my mind at ease babe
CaptainRallie (4:26:54 PM): why?
linnea036 (4:27:09 PM): because they aren't 100
linnea036 (4:27:17 PM): % effective
CaptainRallie (4:27:23 PM): um, they are so long as they don't break or slip off
linnea036 (4:27:33 PM): no... they arent
CaptainRallie (4:27:34 PM): and when you're also on the pill, its kind of...yeah
linnea036 (4:27:56 PM): u can be on the pill and use a condom and still get pregnant hun...
CaptainRallie (4:28:10 PM): its really difficult, and it involves a lot of trying
linnea036 (4:28:26 PM): *sigh* I'm not gonna argue with u...
CaptainRallie (4:28:31 PM): then don't
linnea036 (4:29:18 PM): and gee I'm sorry he talked to you and "seemed to think that HE was right"... but u kno... that doesnt make YOU right either
CaptainRallie (4:29:29 PM): i'm right when it comes to my life
CaptainRallie (4:29:54 PM): because i live it the way i choose
CaptainRallie (4:30:34 PM): its kind of like the whole absolute power thing...the country folk and people in other countries might not agree, but in the end the king/queen has their say
linnea036 (4:31:38 PM): until they revolt... or start wars...
linnea036 (4:31:45 PM): whatever... I've decided I don't care
CaptainRallie (4:32:00 PM): bullshit
CaptainRallie (4:32:20 PM): if you don't care, then you won't have any problem with me having sex as much as i want
linnea036 (4:33:09 PM): ur right... i also wont care if this relationship doesn't work... just like I wont care if u DO end up pregnant becuz of it
CaptainRallie (4:33:23 PM): i know it won't work out
linnea036 (4:33:36 PM): then why the fuck do you do it?
linnea036 (4:34:08 PM): nevermind... i couldn't hope to understand....
CaptainRallie (4:34:33 PM): probably not. you're the kind of person that CAN stay attached. i get bored.
linnea036 (4:35:07 PM): so, ur saying that u have absolutely NO interest in getting "attached"
CaptainRallie (4:35:13 PM): pretty much
CaptainRallie (4:35:25 PM): i might for some length of time
CaptainRallie (4:35:39 PM): but i've never been able to carry out much longer than 4 or 5 months
linnea036 (4:36:05 PM): *sighs* fine
linnea036 (4:36:13 PM): do whatever u want
CaptainRallie (4:36:24 PM): it really doesn't bother me that you don't agree
CaptainRallie (4:36:40 PM): i just wish you could support my decisions because they are my decisions, and we're friends.
CaptainRallie (4:37:06 PM): you can tell me you don't agree, you can tell me WHY you don't agree. but don't forceably try to change my mind.
linnea036 (4:38:54 PM): as much as i luv u... i don't know if i can do this anymore...
CaptainRallie (4:39:21 PM): so mumsie is right?
linnea036 (4:39:45 PM): don't u fucking dare pull that shit
CaptainRallie (4:39:55 PM): i'm just asking
linnea036 (4:40:08 PM): this has nothing to do with her
CaptainRallie (4:40:23 PM): well she will be happy
CaptainRallie (4:42:44 PM): look, i don't think this should make us not be friends
CaptainRallie (4:42:55 PM): i mean, you put up with me when i was with rolando.
CaptainRallie (4:43:05 PM): and he's an asshole
linnea036 (4:43:18 PM): and I tried to help u then
CaptainRallie (4:43:18 PM): who i defended, even though he was an asshole
CaptainRallie (4:43:26 PM): and i ignored the shit out of it
linnea036 (4:43:32 PM): u wouldn't listen
linnea036 (4:43:40 PM): u never listen
CaptainRallie (4:43:42 PM): i understand that you want the best for me
CaptainRallie (4:43:49 PM): oh, come now, i do listen
CaptainRallie (4:44:10 PM): you can't tell me i never listen. because i do. otherwise we really would have killed each other on tour
CaptainRallie (4:44:24 PM): and i wouldn't call you to see how you're doing
CaptainRallie (4:45:07 PM): instead of trying to get you to talk when you're upset i'd be off living it up or just complaining about my own problems.
CaptainRallie (4:45:19 PM): and while i do complain about my own problems, i'm not nearly as bad as Margie, am i?
linnea036 (4:46:41 PM): sometimes i'm not sure...
CaptainRallie (4:47:21 PM): wow. well thats some honesty there
CaptainRallie (4:47:46 PM): so howabout instead of just keeping it inside when i piss you off or act margie-ish, yell at me to shut up or something
linnea036 (4:48:19 PM): how many times have u seen me get mad?
CaptainRallie (4:48:38 PM): do you REALLY want me to answer that? i have seen/heard you mad before
linnea036 (4:48:58 PM): yea... once that I can remember yelling at u
CaptainRallie (4:48:59 PM): at chris, at tollie, at margie, at andrew&brian
CaptainRallie (4:49:04 PM): altho andrew and brian is more disgust...
linnea036 (4:49:26 PM): okay, how many times have u seen me yell?
CaptainRallie (4:49:28 PM): and you're pissed at me now
CaptainRallie (4:49:40 PM): in anger, only once
CaptainRallie (4:49:58 PM): but i have seen you pissed off/talked to you online when you're pissed off at other ppls
CaptainRallie (4:50:43 PM): i know i'm not exactly the bestest kind of friend to have, but i like to think that i am a good friend
CaptainRallie (4:53:16 PM): and to tell the truth, the only reason why i don't like listening to your collegey type adventures is because i'm jealous that you have other cool friends, and i kind of don't.
linnea036 (4:53:52 PM): ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!
CaptainRallie (4:53:59 PM): no
linnea036 (4:54:05 PM): I have JEN.... that's about it
CaptainRallie (4:54:18 PM): you have bubsie, and bubsie's friends...and the people you talk to in classes...
linnea036 (4:54:33 PM): I don't talk to anyone in class
linnea036 (4:54:38 PM): and bubsie's dropped out
CaptainRallie (4:54:41 PM): what about that cool guy?
CaptainRallie (4:54:46 PM): she dropped out?!
linnea036 (4:54:58 PM): yea...
CaptainRallie (4:55:00 PM): why?
linnea036 (4:55:14 PM): SHE WUZ FUCKING DEPRESSED
linnea036 (4:55:28 PM): ALL ;MY FRIENDS ARE FUCKING DEPRESSED ALL THE FUCKING TIME
linnea036 (4:55:36 PM): AND SO AM I
linnea036 (4:55:39 PM): AND I HATE IT
linnea036 (4:55:43 PM): I HATE IT
CaptainRallie (4:56:01 PM): so tell us
CaptainRallie (4:56:10 PM): i don't take offense to it
CaptainRallie (4:56:20 PM): i doubt melis or kimmi would, either
linnea036 (4:57:06 PM): i'm the type of person who picks up everyone else's moods... if UR depressed... so am i
linnea036 (4:57:17 PM): thats why tour wuz so fucking unbearable
CaptainRallie (4:57:23 PM): *hugs*
CaptainRallie (4:57:34 PM): yeah, well now i'm glad. can you be glad, too?
CaptainRallie (4:57:42 PM): i'm glad that you told me this
linnea036 (4:58:18 PM): no... i'm not glad... i'm fucking crying my eyes out
CaptainRallie (4:58:40 PM): i am too hun
CaptainRallie (4:59:08 PM): if you feel like shit, you should stop me, or whoever else you're talking to, and tell them
CaptainRallie (4:59:14 PM): thats why group therapy works so well
linnea036 (4:59:48 PM): u kno me
CaptainRallie (5:00:07 PM): glad i do
linnea036 (5:00:22 PM): heheh
CaptainRallie (5:00:31 PM): see, made you laugh
linnea036 (5:00:38 PM): i dunno... i just have a hard time with sharing
CaptainRallie (5:00:49 PM): well from now on i'll bug you until you do.
CaptainRallie (5:01:15 PM): because it DOES help. like in the broken bone kind of way...it hurts to have to poked back into the right place, but its a "good" pain
linnea036 (5:02:40 PM): i kno... i'm just so used to hiding my feelings,... it's just so hard...
CaptainRallie (5:02:43 PM): or like accupuncture.
CaptainRallie (5:03:00 PM): yes well, we already know you can't hide much from me
linnea036 (5:03:05 PM): i've been lying to my parents about it for years...
linnea036 (5:03:21 PM): i've been lying to myself for years...
CaptainRallie (5:03:50 PM): *hugs* we won't let you lie to yourself anymore. i don't care if you lie to your parents, they suck. but you DO have friends who care, surprising as it might sound at times.
linnea036 (5:04:15 PM): yea... i kno...
linnea036 (5:04:29 PM): dammit... i have class soon...
linnea036 (5:04:36 PM): a midterm too...
CaptainRallie (5:04:48 PM): *hugggggg* go knock their socks off.
CaptainRallie (5:05:00 PM): just umm...think about the dalai llama
linnea036 (5:05:17 PM): hehehe
CaptainRallie (5:06:04 PM): melis and i are planning a therapy session for you. she's going to be the smartassy type who makes you laugh, kimmi will be the one offering you things to make you feel better, and i will be the random laughable one.
CaptainRallie (5:06:10 PM): but we shall all listen, and offer our insight.
linnea036 (5:06:38 PM): oh my... this sounds dangerous
CaptainRallie (5:06:47 PM): heh
CaptainRallie (5:07:11 PM): hey, on friddy, what time do you think we're gonna leave to go to SC?
linnea036 (5:07:30 PM): umm... I'll have to think about that...
CaptainRallie (5:07:30 PM): (sorry to change the subject)
CaptainRallie (5:07:39 PM): cos yeah...thingy.
CaptainRallie (5:07:57 PM): maybe it will be cold there...*prays*
linnea036 (5:08:23 PM): hehehe
linnea036 (5:08:28 PM): seriously
linnea036 (5:08:32 PM): it's hella hot
CaptainRallie (5:08:42 PM): i know! and the heater was on in astronomy!
CaptainRallie (5:09:12 PM): do you have a/c in the dorms?
linnea036 (5:09:29 PM): mhmmmm
CaptainRallie (5:09:43 PM): lucky!
CaptainRallie (5:10:06 PM): brb must peeeeee
linnea036 (5:10:24 PM): me toooooo
CaptainRallie (5:11:56 PM): backack
linnea036 (5:15:15 PM): i gotta go
linnea036 (5:15:19 PM): ttyl?
CaptainRallie (5:15:34 PM): yeah, i'll be back at like 10:15
CaptainRallie (5:15:37 PM): slainte
ìCaptainRallieî signed off at 5:25:56 PM.
ìCaptainRallieî signed on at 5:26:40 PM.
ìCaptainRallieî signed off at 5:50:01 PM.
Bastard... breaks up with my best friend and shows NO EMOTION.. *growls*
linnea036 (10:07:49 PM): I've decided to be totally HONEST (as u call it)
linnea036 (10:07:53 PM): u bug the HELL outta me
cfb 4629 (10:08:11 PM): sorry.
linnea036 (10:08:30 PM): ha. sorry. psh.
cfb 4629 (10:08:40 PM): what else would i say?
linnea036 (10:08:44 PM): nothing
cfb 4629 (10:09:14 PM): i AM sorry i bug the hell out of you. i like you, but rallie is right, i AM an egotistical prick
linnea036 (10:09:28 PM): wow. at least u can admit it.
linnea036 (10:09:38 PM): i almost admire u for that.
cfb 4629 (10:09:43 PM): hah
linnea036 (10:09:47 PM): almost.
cfb 4629 (10:11:19 PM): well, bes tof luck to you, and thanks for being honest. i really do apreciate it
linnea036 (10:11:35 PM): u have a screw loose... i swear
cfb 4629 (10:11:39 PM): i know
cfb 4629 (10:12:12 PM): is it weird that id rathe rknow exactly what people think of me? and rather other people knew the same about me?
linnea036 (10:13:01 PM): good for u
linnea036 (10:13:10 PM): but I'd really rather NOT kno wut u think of m
linnea036 (10:13:11 PM): me
cfb 4629 (10:13:33 PM): if you look up above, you should see that i already told you
linnea036 (10:13:55 PM): yea. wutev.
linnea036 (10:14:35 PM): i don't care. u still piss me off.
cfb 4629 (10:15:01 PM): im going to post this convo on my xanga. do you want me to bleep out your sn?
linnea036 (10:15:29 PM): i could really care less. *curious* WHY are u posting this?
cfb 4629 (10:15:38 PM): becaus ei do thing slike that
linnea036 (10:16:11 PM): strange, demented boy
cfb 4629 (10:16:18 PM): true
linnea036 (10:16:45 PM): and so aggrivating >_<
cfb 4629 (10:17:03 PM): sorry.
linnea036 (10:17:13 PM): that didn't help
cfb 4629 (10:17:26 PM): well, is there anything i could have said that would have?
cfb 4629 (10:18:01 PM): i AM sorry, but it wont change me much,
linnea036 (10:18:02 PM): i think it's just the fact that i can tell u about how u piss me off and u seem to simply shrug it off with a "sorry"
cfb 4629 (10:18:43 PM): but if you think about it, there isnt really anything else to say.
linnea036 (10:18:56 PM): *sigh*
linnea036 (10:18:58 PM): i give up
linnea036 (10:21:12 PM): actually there IS another response to "u piss me off" than just "sorry"
cfb 4629 (10:21:43 PM): what did you want me to do? be falsely contrite and promise to change, which i wont do?
linnea036 (10:21:55 PM): i never said u had to promise anything
linnea036 (10:22:06 PM): now, did i?
cfb 4629 (10:22:10 PM): no
cfb 4629 (10:22:12 PM): you didnt
linnea036 (10:22:39 PM): tho... u seem to believe that OTHER people should change to fit ur needs
cfb 4629 (10:23:16 PM): no, i dont. if they dont like me, people can leave, or just tell me, and i'll leave em alone, as best as i can
linnea036 (10:23:30 PM): no. u don't seem to understand.
linnea036 (10:24:23 PM): the fact that u have this whole mantra of "i won't change myself for u" is surprising considering your overly critical attitude towards others
cfb 4629 (10:24:48 PM): but i dont expect them to chage either
linnea036 (10:27:27 PM): then, why do you say it?
cfb 4629 (10:28:06 PM): honesty, remember. but you see, im critical of everyone, including myself, and enjoy peoples company regardless. i LIKe people i criticise
linnea036 (10:28:40 PM): well then u should learn that most don't like being criticized
cfb 4629 (10:29:01 PM): ah, but most of my friends dont care.
cfb 4629 (10:30:36 PM): they know that when i compliment them, i mean it, and when im critical, i mean it. and that none of it has any effec ton how much i like them
linnea036 (10:30:57 PM): *sigh*
linnea036 (10:31:13 PM): ah, but u are sadly mistaken
linnea036 (10:31:29 PM): or, at least, with me and with rallie
cfb 4629 (10:32:19 PM): actually, thats a par tof why i wont be her bf anymore
linnea036 (10:32:26 PM): why?
linnea036 (10:32:43 PM): because she takes u seriously?
cfb 4629 (10:32:53 PM): no
linnea036 (10:33:01 PM): then why?
cfb 4629 (10:33:22 PM): that would tkae me too long to explain
linnea036 (10:33:36 PM): if u say so
linnea036 (10:33:49 PM): it's no difference to ME what u do...
linnea036 (10:34:08 PM): but u have to understand my concern for my BEST FRIEND
cfb 4629 (10:36:57 PM): i do
cfb 4629 (10:37:06 PM): am im tlaking to her about it now
linnea036 (10:37:16 PM): good.
cfb 4629 (10:37:33 PM): but the bottom line is, i cant give her my whole heart, and i refuse to give anyone anything less
linnea036 (10:37:55 PM): well then. good luck.
linnea036 (10:37:59 PM): have a nice life.
cfb 4629 (10:38:12 PM): *laugh* as longas it lasts
linnea036 (10:38:22 PM): oh ha. ha. ha.
cfb 4629 (10:38:41 PM): my life expectancy is about hafl yours
linnea036 (10:38:49 PM): i kno that dumbass
linnea036 (10:39:06 PM): i have no pity for u, sorry
cfb 4629 (10:39:21 PM): neither do i, and i dotnask for it
linnea036 (10:39:43 PM): right. u just laugh at it.
linnea036 (10:39:49 PM): life's just a big laugh.
linnea036 (10:39:53 PM): ha. ha. ha.
cfb 4629 (10:40:00 PM): ive accepted it, thats all
linnea036 (10:40:41 PM): good for u.
linnea036 (10:41:09 PM): and who's to say u wont outlive me, hmm?
cfb 4629 (10:41:21 PM): the odds are just very against it
linnea036 (10:41:31 PM): if u say so.
linnea036 (10:42:17 PM): whatever.
linnea036 (10:42:25 PM): i think i'm through talking.
cfb 4629 (10:42:32 PM): ok. goodluck and godspeed
linnea036 (10:43:09 PM): u too. i probly won't see u again.
cfb 4629 (10:43:27 PM): thanks, and ok
